Monday, May 20, 2013
It's Like This
There are days when I cannot seem to draw. No matter my effort, whatever comes out of my pencil is garbage. And there are days when I sit at my newest painting and I can't seem to jump in with my heart. There are blocks. There are hurdles. Distractions. Unwelcome circumstances that get in the way. There are hang ups and fears and sometimes over-zealosy (that's not a word) that can swing a painting moment this way or that and it's up to each artist to sort those things out, give em the proper attention and address them as they come up. And man, there are a few. That's what has been going on in my world as of late, I've begun two new paintings for my next solo show, and had come up with that feeling of non commitment. I couldn't understand what was happening - I had all the research, all the excitement, all kinda new stuff in mind, all the inspiration and still sat at each painting doing "work". Not allowing my heart to flutter all over the piece... I stopped painting for days (but that always has me feeling like a kid that has to pee really bad but can't get to the restroom), and alas ~ with the help and insight of my favorite dude that knows me so well and a few miles of driving alone with Pink Floyd in my ears (that know me so well), I realized I wasn't trusting my instincts. My instincts are all I have since I was never properly taught how to paint, and I had been watching a lot of painting demos on Youtube and then trying to apply a few tips and professional tricks to my own work. Which is helpful (sorta...I'm not sure yet) but I firstly need to listen to my guts ~ they lead the way best. And that was an invaluable lesson for this old girl. So painting days are back in full effect and I'm feeling extra extra super. I can't wait for the morning so I can paint more!!! eeeeeYAHHH!!!! PS, why this layout paragraph botching, Blogger? Am I at fault?? Is it me??